pa·tience

/ˈpāSH(ə)ns/ noun the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset

That’s a slightly stoic definition. I was expecting something a little more practical, but upon reflection, it’s completely appropriate. 

The AI-generated definitions resonated a little better for me:

The ability to wait for a desired outcome;

The ability to tolerate or persevere through delay, stress, or provocation;

The ability to continue doing something despite difficulties; or

The ability to suffer without becoming annoyed or complaining.

I also appreciated that the AI summary also included the antonyms impatience, hastiness, and impetuousness. By nature, I have not always been a patient person, so the antonyms brought me some grounding. 

Alas, you can learn alot in 15 months.

One of the YouTube channels I watch describes that kind of time as ‘away in the desert,’ and in many ways, that is exactly what it felt like.

One of the things that strikes me so differently now is just how powerful silence is. 

When you spend so much time building, fixing, preventing, stopping, fighting, and flighting, there is never silence. It’s just a constant battle with your internal anxiety to figure out what might hit you next. There is no time for patience in that life.

And then it all stops. 

Well, most of it stops.

When the real silence finally sets in, it becomes terrifying, causing a whole new set of issues. Fortunately, those issues are relatively easy to address if you are willing to explore some dark and scary places.

While I have long believed things always work out how they are supposed to, I have also spent far too much time inserting influence into the equation.

That lever. This button. A strategically shared tidbit to move something over just a tad. And on. And on. And on.

Silence became a spotlight. It highlighted a version of life I never want to revisit, and that was a profound and painful lesson.

Learning to be content in the absence of noise can provide an unexpectedly potent sense of freedom. However, that kind of learning only happens with patience.

But right now, patience feels less like peace and more like a held breath.

It’s hard to watch what’s happening in the world, near and far. It’s hard to sit silent when there are so many things that you could say. Or ways you could influence an outcome.

That’s the power of time in the metaphorical desert. You emerge with a different kind of vision.

Meaningful dialogue only happens when the participants are willing to listen to understand instead of just listening to respond. 

The thing about echo chambers is no one is actually listening.

For now, patience will have to be about waiting until the exact right moment to say the exact right thing.

And that time will most undoubtedly come.

February 16, 2025